Unsolicited Gift Horses – Can We Talk About This?

Original article written by Regina Moore posted 9 years 0 weeks ago

When I was a newbie in SIM, and pretty active on the forum, I received quite an onslaught of gift horses. A few were really valuable, but most were just everyday horses, and it would be dubious to call many of them assets. As the year wound down, and players were gifting me even more horses of questionable quality, while culling their stables, I got on the forum and, as nicely as I could, asked players to stop sending me gifts, since my stable was as large as I wanted it to be.

Thankfully, players listened, and it was no longer a problem.


WHY AM I GETTING THIS HORSE?
A couple of game years after that, a mare showed up in my inbox for zero dollars. There wasn’t a message accompanying the mare. I’d never had any contact with the mare’s owner, so I was baffled as to why he would give me a broodmare. I made the only deduction that seemed logical. It had to be a mistake that the mare was in my inbox. Surely, the player meant to give her to someone else, and had accidentally clicked on my name as the recipient. So, I didn’t accept the mare and wrote the player back, saying that he’d sent me a mare that was surely intended for someone else. His reply seemed puzzled. The mare was for me (his tone suggesting that it was obvious). No explanation as to why.

Since, like most players, I already had too many horses, I grudgingly accepted the mare. Eventually, I realized that the mare was the dam of a horse I’d claimed earlier that year. Apparently, this player thought, “If Regina wants one of the offspring, then surely she also would appreciate having the mare.“ Well, that’s not the least bit true, and I can’t imagine that it is for other players. Just because I picked out one particular horse I wanted at the time, does not mean that I want any or all of its relatives.

Frankly, I figured this player just wanted to get rid of the mare, and the fact that I’d claimed an offspring was an excuse to shuffle her off onto somebody else.

Unsolicited gifts have continued to happen on occasion. Sometimes, there’s a message accompanying them, so I know why I’m being given the horse. But a surprising number of times, a horse will show up from a player that I’ve had little contact with – sometimes none at all – without any accompanying message as to why they’re giving me the horse. In the latter case, I’m left with no choice but to assume the horse was given to me by mistake, which results in an awkward exchange of me writing the gifter back and saying they gave the horse to the wrong person. In 100% of such cases, the gifting player insists that the horse is for me. They’ll then say something like, “It’s a gift for when you gave me advice on that one horse a while back.” (Or whatever.) Well, okay. But why not simply say that when giving me the horse originally?

Once, a player put eight or ten formidable Standardbred pacer mares up for sale. I bought three of them. A couple of weeks later, three additional Standardbred mares showed up in my inbox. No accompanying message of explanation. So, I did my usual assumption that the mares were given to me by mistake, and wrote the owner back to point out the error. He replied that these were three remaining mares he had left over from his sale, and since I’d purchased three others, he decided to make it a “two for one”” deal. Well, okay. But again, why not just say that when sending those mares over?

The most recent unsolicited gift I received was when a foal showed up in my inbox. The gifting player was one I’d never had any contact with, so I couldn’t imagine that he intended the foal for me. However, this particular gift did have a message with it. It was in badly broken English, but appeared to say, “Don’t ever sell or give this horse away.” Oh, wonderful. Not only am I being given a gift with no explanation as to why, but the gift has strings attached!

I did write the owner of the foal back, and the foal was indeed for me. He was a gift to thank me for all my helpful articles. I’m always glad to hear that my articles have been helpful, but… why not just say that when sending the foal over?

As I write this, it occurs to me that a gender thing is going on here. I’ve received gifts with an accompanying message from both female and male players. But when it comes to horses just showing up in my inbox, with no explanation, they’re always from male players. Men, you need to learn how to write a gift card, lol.

I suspect that there’s also a cultural misfit going on, in terms of how players from different regions of the world view gifts.


SOME HARD TRUTHS
I “get” the desire to gift horses, especially as an intended pleasant surprise. I’ve done it myself. But I almost never do it anymore, without first checking with the intended recipient, to make sure he or she would actually like to have the horse.

What I have found is that, most of the time, other players have their own agenda (naturally), their own way of playing (naturally). When a player is given a horse never asked for, he or she is just as likely to quickly sell it, send it to Greener Pastures after a short time, or drop it into a cheap claiming race to get rid of it. I mean, in the latter example, what else would a claiming player do with a gift, but put it in a claiming race? It’s what makes the most sense to them, is what is in line with their own individual goals.

The fact is, the vast majority of players have more horses than they’re comfortable with. I doubt I’m alone in that a gift in the form of yet another horse to manage, is as likely to be viewed with annoyance (or even stress) as with appreciation. I prefer to pick out the horses I want – not have them thrust upon me, however generous the intent.

I mentor a lot of new players. Sometimes, they ask me how they can go about rejecting a gift without hurting the gifting player’s feelings. I can’t guarantee that feelings won’t be hurt, of course, but I usually suggest that they simply explain that they’re maxxed out on the number of horses they want to manage, so thanks, but no thanks.

There’s such an over-supply of horses, and so many horses available super cheap, that few players are eager for more horses. (However, the newest players are usually grateful for more horses and will readily receive gifts.) If you want to gift somebody a horse to say “thank you” for something, I for one would prefer the message of thanks without a horse attached. That is, unless it’s a scary good yearling or a blue hen mare. Sure, I’ll gladly accept those!

At the very least, if you’re going to surprise a player with a gift, include a message as to why you’re sending them an unsolicited horse. It’s the polite thing to do.

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