simperior edge

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Andrew Chillin
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Andrew Chillin »

Rebecca Rose Hepburn wrote: 3 years ago
Andrew Davidson wrote: 3 years ago I want to know who’s sending pms to people like that one lady that had an opinion on steward breds. @me punk as s bich
But also stand up and tell everybody if you've felt bullied :roll:
I am calling some specific out who’s name is unknown. I would like to take this moment to kindly ask that you don’t drag ninis name anywhere. She was one of the first people to interact with me in my beginning days and is the best ear. Not to mention the first person to call on anyone’s bad shut in private. Do not reverse bully a sweetheart while you stir this pot.
;p
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Carole Hanson
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Carole Hanson »

All I'm doing is defending Nini who has no control over what me and Andrew and others say or do, because me and Andrew are both adults and Nini saying something to us isn't going to stop either of us from doing it. Don't come at her like this is her fault. You and Nini are different, you might then step back from people like that in this case but Nini might not be able to for whatever reason, that's no reason for you to judge her.

I never said that Andrew's trolling is ok so I don't know where you got that from, I'm not invalidating other people's feelings, you just assumed that that's what I was doing.

I don't want to bring Kelly into this, I have no beef with her. But if we're talking double standards, just the other day she mocked a player selling a mare for a high price and when someone expressed their distaste about it she continued on the defensive and then it turned into a mess of who can outdo who in the petty department. Please don't act like it's just a small group of people in the SIM that are the black sheep and everyone else is lovely dovey kind and supportive. I'm sure tons of s**t gets said about various players between all sorts of people in the game, human nature. What goes on in private can stay in private and I can't fault people for that.

I don't condone the mob mentality behaviour that has happened before and I admit there's been times where I have jumped on it too. Why? Because I see one of my friends involved in an argument and the nature in me jumps to their defense. I'm not justifying it, just explaining and I will admit it was wrong. Lately I've been working at being better and not involving myself, taking a step back and realising that I don't know any of you personally so realistically I can't judge you.

As for this "If the only thing you can think up for your own behavior is that you said something defending another player then that makes me sad." please message me in game and let me know any other instances I have bullied someone. I always try to be as eloquent as possible and I try to discuss rather than troll or meme someone. If I have trolled someone, I apologise, sincerely. But I will not apologise where I have expressed my views in a discussion format just because they view my disagreement as bullying.
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Carole Hanson
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Carole Hanson »

And yes I too want to invite anyone who has ever had a problem with me to please message me privately. I promise I will hear you out and certainly will have an adult discussion with you. I am open to hearing your concerns and grievances about any of my behaviours, I will take it on the chin, listen, learn, and apologise. I am in no way looking to have a go at you, just offering peace.

So once again, if you have ever taken offense to or felt attacked by anything I have said or done, whether to you or someone else, please get in touch if you're comfortable with doing so. I want to hear from you and I want you to share your thoughts with me.
John Nicholson
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Re: simperior edge

Post by John Nicholson »

All this apologising is getting boring just get on with what u came here for in the first place.......playing a fake game.
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Andrew Chillin
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Andrew Chillin »

John Nicholson wrote: 3 years ago All this apologising is getting boring just get on with what u came here for in the first place.......playing a fake game.
Wanna buy some mares...
;p
John Nicholson
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Re: simperior edge

Post by John Nicholson »

Thanks for the offer Andrew but I’m good 😀
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Andrew Chillin
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Andrew Chillin »

John Nicholson wrote: 3 years ago Thanks for the offer Andrew but I’m good 😀
Want to...sell some mares?
;p
John Nicholson
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Re: simperior edge

Post by John Nicholson »

None at moment but your first in line when I have 👍
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Andrew Chillin
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Andrew Chillin »

Pleasure. Have a nice day. Win all the races I’m not in
;p
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Rebecca Rose Hepburn
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Rebecca Rose Hepburn »

Carole Hanson wrote: 3 years ago All I'm doing is defending Nini who has no control over what me and Andrew and others say or do, because me and Andrew are both adults and Nini saying something to us isn't going to stop either of us from doing it. Don't come at her like this is her fault. You and Nini are different, you might then step back from people like that in this case but Nini might not be able to for whatever reason, that's no reason for you to judge her.

I never said that Andrew's trolling is ok so I don't know where you got that from, I'm not invalidating other people's feelings, you just assumed that that's what I was doing.

I don't want to bring Kelly into this, I have no beef with her. But if we're talking double standards, just the other day she mocked a player selling a mare for a high price and when someone expressed their distaste about it she continued on the defensive and then it turned into a mess of who can outdo who in the petty department. Please don't act like it's just a small group of people in the SIM that are the black sheep and everyone else is lovely dovey kind and supportive. I'm sure tons of s**t gets said about various players between all sorts of people in the game, human nature. What goes on in private can stay in private and I can't fault people for that.

I don't condone the mob mentality behaviour that has happened before and I admit there's been times where I have jumped on it too. Why? Because I see one of my friends involved in an argument and the nature in me jumps to their defense. I'm not justifying it, just explaining and I will admit it was wrong. Lately I've been working at being better and not involving myself, taking a step back and realising that I don't know any of you personally so realistically I can't judge you.

As for this "If the only thing you can think up for your own behavior is that you said something defending another player then that makes me sad." please message me in game and let me know any other instances I have bullied someone. I always try to be as eloquent as possible and I try to discuss rather than troll or meme someone. If I have trolled someone, I apologise, sincerely. But I will not apologise where I have expressed my views in a discussion format just because they view my disagreement as bullying.
And for it's own line...
Carole Hanson wrote: 3 years ago All I'm doing is defending Nini who has no control over what me and Andrew and others say or do, because me and Andrew are both adults and Nini saying something to us isn't going to stop either of us from doing it.
Did it ever occur to you that I quoted Nini because when your friends behave badly it starts to tarnish your own image? If you actually want to defend her then you change your behavior instead of thinking that somehow arguing with me on this thread will change the fact that she gets lumped in with her friends by others in the community. Guilt by association is a thing that others think and feel and it's not something that's going to magically poof away by you telling me it should. Is it really fair to Nini? Probably not; I've known her for years, ever since she was very young and I've always liked and respected her, but I admit that I've been looking at her differently because of the way those she's closest to have acted. Don't get mad at me for being the one to finally stand up and say that the behavior of your friends changes the way people perceive you, this is not something I am alone in.

And why on earth do you think I believe the people I quoted are the only ones I think are a problem in the game? I never said that and I certainly don't believe that. This isn't limited to a tiny handful of people and I have no idea why you seem to think that I believe otherwise. Kelly should not have said what she did and there was nothing wrong with her being called out for it. However I will say that when one group of people are the first to apologize in public when there's anonymous talk to bullying that stands out.

As I stated in my previous post I don't care about what gets said about others behind closed doors. I know I'm going to have negative things said about me by others in private and I have no problem with that; I will defend their right to do so. It's when it's happening on the forums, the chat room, or nasty thing being sent as a private message that the problem comes in.

Disagreeing with somebody doesn't count as bullying out of hand either, I disagree with people in public all the time. And I am definitely not coming into this in a lovey dovey 'let's hold hands and sit in a circle singing Kumbaya' way. That's been happening for years now and hasn't had much of an effect. Maybe this will.
Carole Hanson wrote: 3 years ago I admit there's been times where I have jumped on it too. Why? Because I see one of my friends involved in an argument and the nature in me jumps to their defense. I'm not justifying it, just explaining and I will admit it was wrong. Lately I've been working at being better and not involving myself, taking a step back and realising that I don't know any of you personally so realistically I can't judge you.
Dylan Christensen wrote: 3 years ago Honestly, I’ll just take this as a chance to apologize overall. I’ve been an a-hole to people on the SIM big time because it’s easier for me to hid behind a keyboard than do something like that in real life. Things I say here I would never say in real life and that just isn’t right. I may have my opinions about people but it’s no excuse for how I’ve treated some of you. I’ve message some of the people I’ve been the nastiest to but even if I didn’t message you know that I’m sorry for being such a tool.
These are mature responses and I'm a big fan of them. I hope public behavior changes going forward, I think it will have a massive effect on the sim. We're always going to disagree about aspects of the game (frankly I'd be concerned if we started agreeing about everything going forward) but this needs to be a place where both players both new and old can feel comfortable instead of anxious when they talk to the rest of the community.

There is also a snowball's chance in hell that I'm sending anybody screenshot of any incident that I was not personally involved in. People who feel that they have been bullied need and deserve the chance to come forward on their own before the community starts arguing about the things that made them feel hurt.
A horse is the projection of peoples' dreams about themselves - strong, powerful, beautiful - and it has the capability of giving us escape from our mundane existence.- Pam Brown
Jack Meyer
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Jack Meyer »

I used to be in chat all the time but went away for quite sometime because of the vibes I got in there with people not liking me, which was fine, I just chose to not be around it....I'm in there a little more nowadays but still nowhere near what I used to be. I'm sure my name comes up in chat at times, whether in actual chat or PMs, I just enjoy the SIM better not being as social as I used to be....I've been here for quite a while now and it keeps me going doing what I do the way I do it.

Jack
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Carole Hanson
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Carole Hanson »

I'm definitely not asking you to send me screenshots of conversations. However, again if someone does want to iron out a grievance please feel free to do so. I would hope people don't find me intimidating but if you do, please let me know, I promise I'm not out to get or hurt anyone. I may not have the best reading comprehension at times, especially in open discussions, but one on one I try my absolute hardest to read and understand as well as I listen when speaking with someone.

Just as a final point, I am surprised about the chat room thing. I personally only ever go in chat for race calls so perhaps I have missed some of the hostility. From my point of view, chat has been pretty alright ever since it got taken away and reinstated a few years back. But that's just from what I see of it, which is very little.
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Kelly Haggerty
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Kelly Haggerty »

I don't want to bring Kelly into this, I have no beef with her. But if we're talking double standards, just the other day she mocked a player selling a mare for a high price and when someone expressed their distaste about it she continued on the defensive and then it turned into a mess of who can outdo who in the petty department. Please don't act like it's just a small group of people in the SIM that are the black sheep and everyone else is lovely dovey kind and supportive. I'm sure tons of s**t gets said about various players between all sorts of people in the game, human nature. What goes on in private can stay in private and I can't fault people for that.

Ok, I dealt with this in private with the author of the post, but since it keeps coming up I will deal with it publicly. I never intended to mock the player. My mistake right off the bat was that I thought his original post was humor, and not a legit attempt to sell the horse. This is because the price was higher than any from the auction, quite a bit more than he paid, and he revealed that she was a star and not a hen. So I posted to follow in kind, offering to sell my mares for high prices as well, saying nothing about either him nor his mare. The continued postings to me were just carrying on what I thought was a running joke. It was a mistake on my part that was perceived as bullying. And I will admit that perception is reality in these cases, so I will publicly apologize, as I did privately to the impacted player, where we talked the situation through.

And while we are on the subject, just to clear the air altogether, I don't care if anyone pinhooks and I don't care what you sell horses for or how much you pay. If I see predatory behavior aimed specifically at new players I am going to find that offensive, but that did not apply in this case and at no time was I upset nor did I disapprove of the player selling his horse, nor the price.
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Andrew Chillin
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Andrew Chillin »

David’s a super nice guy ain’t? Just have to get past his google translations
;p
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Danny Derby
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Re: simperior edge

Post by Danny Derby »

Okay we're all missing the bigger issue here which is that Edge content is being discussed publicly when it's intended for Simperior members only.
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