My sis and I might have saved my neighbors life.

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Stormy Peak
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My sis and I might have saved my neighbors life.

Post by Stormy Peak »

I have a neighbor, that I do not know very well at all...he just moved into the house next door about 4 months ago. I know he owns guns, know he was banned from 3 bars here in town...and that takes a lot given the wild crowd in the bars here.

I went out this afternoon and it was about 85 degrees, and see him splayed out on his lawn with a hose in his hand. I can't tell if the water is running from the hose. But he has no shirt on, and only shorts...and is in the blazing sun. (later tuned out the hose was off.)

I walked across my yard to the fence and said "Rick...are you ok?"
He mumbled, but didn't move...so I said it again...and that time he mumbled just loud enough for me to hear him, "I'm ok"

I asked if he was hurt, and he said no. So I asked him if he was drunk...and he said "Yes" "I'll be ok" and he sounded a little miffed that I was bothering him. I didn't want him to become an angry drunk.....but went ahead and told him that I was worried about him laying in the hot sun...and suggested he might try to get inside his house.

He mumbled that he would be ok. So...

I left him there, and went inside and called my sister...figured she could help me get him inside his house. My sister was much more into the bar scene in her younger days and and while we have both helped drunk people out in our lives, she seems to be able to connect with them, and keep them cheerful.

She was waiting for a friend to show up and so didn't get over to my home for an hour...again it's 85 degrees out there and he was in the full sun...and I didn't know how long he was out there before I spotted him.

My sis finally came over and we talked to him again from across the fence. With my sister telling him things to keep him from getting annoyed...he was at least sounding more cheerful, so we just finally told him we were going to come over and get him into the house.

Which we did. He was surprised that anyone cared enough to help him, but also didn't want to come in because he was embarrassed at having us there help him. It took us about 20 minutes though to get him to a point where he let us help him stand up.

We did have to pull his shorts up when he stood...I don't think he realized they had even come down....he was 'full monty' at the time he stood up...his shorts having shifted downwards upon standing.

But at least my sister and I were on each side of him and we managed to get his shorts up over his hips again without seeing anything, except a full moon. lol.

We s l o w l y got him into his house, and into a recliner, and after about 15 minutes of talking and making sure he was settled, we left him with his cellphone, and a bottle of water on the table next to it, and left. He kept telling us, he couldn't understand how anyone who didn't know him that well would bother to help him.

I just told him that neighbors should try to help neighbors if possible.

But at the same time...again...drunks can turn mean, and I knew he owns guns from the few previous conversations with him.

I did not want to call the cops. But I seriously thought he would die of heat stroke out there in the sun, passed out like he was.

Sometimes, just the sight of cops can turn a 'non problem' drunk into a belligerent angry one...and I didn't want to see Rick man handled, arrested, jailed, fined...etc...as that could have been the case.

At least my sister and I were not obligated to force him into doing anything if he turned belligerent...we could have backed off at anytime and then called the police/emergency services to come help him.

Fortunately, he got into and stayed in a good mood the whole time we were helping him into his clothing and his house. He is taller than both of us, and leaning on us both pretty heavily. With my bad back it was quite a chore.

If he had turned a little mean...I know my sister and I could have backed off and left before he could have crawled into the house...which I doubt he could have done on his own. Even as we were getting him up the porch stairs he asked us if we were sure that 'this was his house'.

I just kind of hope he doesn't remember a lot of it....pretty sure he will be embarrassed by it all. I also found it sad that he kept saying he was surprised that people who didn't know him would help him, and that no one has cared about him in years.

I am glad, given the circumstances he passed out where I could see him. There is an above ground pool there and if he woud have been on the other side, I would have never seen him...and given the heat and the many hours of sun left he probably would have just cooked to death. : (

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Ashley Hunt
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Re: My sis and I might have saved my neighbors life.

Post by Ashley Hunt »

Stormy I think its great that you and your sister checked on and helped him. I too find it sad that he said that "he couldn't understand how anyone who didn't know him that well would bother to help him". It is very disheartening that people do not take the time to check on their neighbors.
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Stormy Peak
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Re: My sis and I might have saved my neighbors life.

Post by Stormy Peak »

Yeah, that was so sad to hear from him...that he felt like that. : (

I know some would tell me I should have just minded my own business and let the 'authorities' take care of it. But I thought I should at least try to see if this was something my sister and I could handle. He has enough issues if he's fallen off the wagon. He told me earlier this summer that he was an alcoholic but hadn't had a drink for about 1/2 a year.

And, I know that sometimes the police can trigger an 'attitude' with someone who might otherwise stay passive or even happy while in an extreme state of inebriation. I didn't want to see him end up in jail, with fines..etc. I know he has my phone number, we exchanged numbers when he first moved in, but so far he's not called me...and I won't bother him...in case he's still trying to sleep it off.

I know this sound callow, but I also hope this isn't going to be an on going problem...and I don't want him thinking that I'm the one to call if he keeps drinking...and needs other kinds of help, or is the type who drunk calls friends at anytime day or night.
I want to be a good neighbor, but not a babysitter. He knows how to get off the booze, he's done it before...so I don't think I can do a whole lot to convince him to do so... addicts do need some support, but also it's just something they have to do on their own...they can't be brow beat, or pleaded into stopping their addiction.

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Nick Gilmore
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Re: My sis and I might have saved my neighbors life.

Post by Nick Gilmore »

You’re right on that point Stormy, they have to want to help themselves. It was a good thing you did and hopefully he will remember. In my experience, it never hurts for a drunk to get humbled once in a while.

Bravo to you and your sis!
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Ashley Hunt
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Re: My sis and I might have saved my neighbors life.

Post by Ashley Hunt »

Nick Gilmore wrote: 2 years ago You’re right on that point Stormy, they have to want to help themselves. It was a good thing you did and hopefully he will remember. In my experience, it never hurts for a drunk to get humbled once in a while.

Bravo to you and your sis!
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Stormy Peak
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Re: My sis and I might have saved my neighbors life.

Post by Stormy Peak »

Thanks Nick and Ashley.

Update on neighbor:

I'm going to give it some time before I go out and say hi to him... I'm sure he's utterly embarrassed by what happened and a little time might help soften the memory....make it less uncomfortable for him.

In the past few days though, I've seen him outside working his butt off. He's even been playing with his 2 dogs, Buddy and Boone.

This was the way he was behaving when he was telling me he was hadn't drank anything for almost 1/2 a year. And prior to me finding him on the lawn...there had been at least 2 weeks when it looked like he hadn't done anything outside. The house has an above ground pool and he had these two huge floats in it...one was a flamingo and the other a dragon. Both had been blown out of the pool by strong winds and he just left them laying by the fences for those past few weeks. I never saw him that much and even wondered if he was out of town...due to his pool critters just being left like they were.

Anyway, he's collected the pool critters and they are back in the pool, and he's been out pulling weeds and raking the lawn, and it appears he's washed his truck. So I am really hoping he's back on the wagon and feeling better about himself again.

BTW here's a photo of his whimsical pool critters...he bought the dragon one first, then a week later the flamingo showed up...he told me he thought the dragon needed a friend...lol. So, the guy has a sense of humor. : )

The floats are designed so a person can lay on the backs of them...and I think they even have cup holders built into them. : )
Also, when I found him on the ground...he was about half way between the pool and that left fence post...and as you can see there's no shade there at all...at least not until the sun is almost down and the pool side throws a little shade in that area.

Image

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