Just so much heartbreak recently.

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Stormy Peak
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Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Stormy Peak »

Last Saturday...

I get a call from an uncle, who told me that his father-in-law, "Mr. H" who had been battling cancer for some years, took a turn for the worse -- his cancer has moved into the bone and was spreading very rapidly and that he only had a few months to live, if even that much. I've met his father-in-law on numerous occasions and really like the guy...and I know my uncle really respected the guy and looked upon him like a father my uncle never really had in his life.

About 1 minute after I hung up from that sad news the phone rang again.
The caller was a friend of mine, who lives on the east coast - she told me her mother had died earlier that morning : (
That's sad enough...but to compound it...about 3 weeks ago, her husband passed away due to heart failure. He was buried the following week. My friend, is still devastated by his death, and now she lost her elderly mother and has 2 beloved people in her life who have died within a few weeks of each other.

Three hours after that call... I got another call.
My sister called to let me know that our cousin, Timmy, was killed. :cry:
Timmy was close to the same age as us, and when we were all kids, my siblings and I, lived just blocks from him and his siblings, so we played together quite often.

My mom, died in 1997, Timmy's mom died last year...and that left just 1 sister remaining, my aunt, "M" -- who also happens to be my favorite aunt. I know she's still mourning the loss of her sister, so Timmy's death hit her hard.

Timmy's death was so pointless...I feel more anger about it, than I think I do grief. Some 27 year old A-hole on a motorcycle didn't think the road rules applied to him and he decided he wasn't going to wait in the 'forward' lane behind a 15 passenger van at a red light. There were 2 cars in the center/left turn lane - and not seeing anymore cars going through the intersection - he decided to gun his bike into the left turn lane, going between the van and the two cars so he could shoot through the intersection.

What he didn't see was Timmy, who was on the crosswalk in front of the van...and Timmy stepped out in front of that gap between the van and the first car - the gap the motorcycle driver was using to speed towards the intersection, and he struck Timmy hard, sent him flying out and quite high into the air. Timmy suffered internal injuries, but mostly from what I understand, massive brain trauma when he landed and cracked his head on the asphalt. The motorcycle driver sustained only very minor injuries, Timmy died a half hour after the incident.

So, in one day - last Saturday...all that happened.

Then Monday...I got another call. My aunt "M" who I mentioned above...her son Eric died. :(
He had cancer, but treatments were going well, and he was feeling really good, and my aunt 'M' was even going to be traveling to southern Idaho to visit him for 2 weeks on Wednesday. But out of the blue, he collapsed and was dead within a few minutes, while he and his wife were making breakfast for their kids -- we now know it was due to a brain aneurism.

Eric was a 'late in life' child for my aunt 'M' -- I use to babysit him, and when he was between the ages of 6 to 8 years old, I use to take him fishing at a lake up on Stormy Peak...which is like a 2 hour drive up some rough dirt roads with some switch-backs in some places. He loved to fish, and his mom, my aunt 'M' loved mountain lake trout...he was always so proud in taking home fish he caught and his mom would fix them for dinner. When Eric grew up, he joined the army and while there became an Army Chaplin. He served for, I think, it was 12 years, after which he took advantage of schooling offers for ex-military and trained to become an electrician. He had a good life with his wife and 2 kids. He was having chemo treatments, and almost done with them, and things were looking really good there.

Aunt M, left Wednesday to take care of funeral arrangements...rather then for a 2 week visit that had been planned.

I've not done much but cry this past week...for both of my cousins, and for my friend who lost her husband and her mom, and for my uncle, his wife and her dad. I've been angry about the way Timmy was killed. And I'm so worried for my aunt M...who at age 77 was still struggling with the passing of her sister (Timmy's mom) last year...then Timmy and now her own son, Eric. I just don't know if at her age if she will ever recover from all that pain.

Timmy's sisters, who live in the same town as me, have gone to Washington to get Timmy's ashes. His ashes will be buried next to his mom's grave...but as yet, no date is set for services for him. Aunt M, while in southern Idaho...and with the blessings of Eric's wife...has made arrangements for Eric to be brought back here. His services will be for Thursday the 14th.

I'm still stunned by such terrible news/losses...gives a whole new level of meaning to 'When it rains, it pours'

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Last edited by Stormy Peak 2 years ago, edited 1 time in total.
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The Steward
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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by The Steward »

Geezes. No words to what you - or any of those families - are going through. That's a LOT, no one should deal with so much at one time. So sorry.
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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Darcy McBride »

I'm so sorry your family has been hit so hard in such a short time frame. Big hugs out to you and your family, Stormy.
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Kelly Haggerty
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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Kelly Haggerty »

This is heartbreaking. My thoughts will be with you and your family from now through the holiday season. Lean on each other, and if I can help in any way, let me know.
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Carole Hanson
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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Carole Hanson »

So sorry to hear about all of this Stormy. I can’t imagine the pain you and your family are going through right now. Sending you all my deepest condolences and I’m gonna keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Shannon Hunt »

Terribly sorry this has happened, Stormy, so much all at once, I can't imagine... I hope you and your loved ones are able to pull through this difficult time okay.
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Stormy Peak
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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Stormy Peak »

Thanks everyone for the kind replies.

It's been a rough week, and this coming week, won't be much easier with the services for Timmy and Eric, I still, though, haven't heard when Timmy's services will be....probably will find out Monday, as his 2 sisters probably needed a rest after a trip to Washington and also in talking with the police while there and in collecting his ashes and driving back to Idaho.

My aunt "M's" -- She has 2 daughters - she and they bought a large two story home together some years ago, and live like 1/4 of a mile up the road from me. Aunt 'M's' oldest son, lives in northern Idaho and he will be here on Monday. I'm glad she has that kind of support around her - she was an excellent mom and her kids all love her dearly.

I and my younger sister are rather close, so we have been able to talk and even vent a little about how senseless Timmy's death was...and too, just how unfair life can be sometimes. Eric, gets cancer, seems to be beating it, then dies from a brain aneurism.
Not only that...it happens in front of his wife and kids. :(

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Stormy Peak
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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Stormy Peak »

Yesterday was the viewing for my cousin Eric. I usually don't go to the viewings, but planned on doing so, for the sake of my
aunt "M"... Eric's mom.

However, at 4 am... I had to get up and walk around the house to ease some back pain. And, as I was going down the hallway into my bedroom, my cat, Song was coming towards me, so I stopped an petted her...and decided to pick her up, like I've done probably a thousand times before.

And just as I was lifting her, she had a Meltdown...and attacked me! :(
It was Bad...I had her in my right hand and she got hold of my left and was scratching me and biting me...and as I tried to pull her off, she bit down and wouldn't let go. I ended up having to slam her into the hall wall several times to get her to let loose...and I of course, dropped her...and I headed for the bathroom to take care of the damage.

I Knew Song has been stressed out about the new cat I brought into the house. She and Thump haven't really had much interaction with each other, and Song has basically been hiding in the bedroom, and only coming out every once in a while. But I feel horrible that I didn't realize just How Stressed she was. : (

I think when I was petting her she was fine, and purring...and focused a bit on me...but in the back of her brain, she has the new cat, Thump, on her mind. I don't think Song realized that I was going to reach over her back and then lift her by her belly...and she must have thought the other cat had come up on her from behind...and was scared/angry about it...and my left hand caught the brunt of it all. My right hand, has one long deep scratch that starts at the center of my hand, and ends on my thumb pad at the base of my thumb.

In the bathroom, I let my hand bleed for some time, hoping to flush out any bad stuff, then I ran it under some warm water for about 5 minutes, then used some Dawn dish soap to wash the wounds and finally....took a DEEP Breath and poured 91 percent isopropyl alcohol over all the wounds....though I was going to pass out from that. But figured a short burst of intense pain, might be better than dealing with all the wounds getting infection.

I knew though, that some were going to get infected...the bite wounds went deep. One is between my middle finger and index finger and the other in my wrist...and that one, I think nicked the tendon. At 8:30 am, I went to see my doctor, she wasn't there, but her husband who's also a doctor, saw me. He's worried too about the 2 wounds I mentioned, but one more that is definitely a bite and higher up on my arm.

I asked for a tetanus shot, as I haven't had one for 9 years...and got a prescription for anti-biotics. They didn't do tetanus shots at the clinic, but they did at the pharmacy, so I was able to go there and get my meds, plus the shot. However, do to the pain, and the shot kicking in, and the meds... I ended up missing Eric's viewing that was later in the afternoon.
I am going to go to the services tomorrow though.

And infection has set in :( My left hand is like 3 times the size it should be, everything is red and hot...most from the two wounds was most worried about along with about 3 other wounds. Most of the rest of the bites and scratches don't look like they are infected....although a number of them are deep red around the cut areas. I just hope the anti-biotics take care of it.
I'm very concerned about the puncture in my wrist and getting an infection in the tendon.

I'm going to work out some 'time share' with the cats...the bathroom is too small, so I'm going to set up the bedroom with a litter box, and each cat will spend 4 to 5 hours in there a day, while the other cat gets to roam the rest of the house. Song has pretty much stayed in the bedroom since Thump arrived. I think I need to force her out of there, and see that the house is 'safe' for her and she can move around without seeing Thump. Then Song will have the bedroom, while Thump gets some time with me, and the dogs.

Next week... Timmy's services. He was cremated, and services were held for friends he had in Seattle and Yakama, then they ashes are to be brought back here, as he was born here and his mom lived here most of her life. She died last year, and so, Timmy's ashes are to be buried on his mom's grave and services will be at the cemetery only.

Tomorrow, Eric will have a military funeral, Christian services at the funeral home, and then graveside services which will include the military ceremony.

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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Kelly Haggerty »

So sorry all this is happening. Do you have some shelves or cat trees or anything where one cat can get up high.
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Stormy Peak
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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Stormy Peak »

Kelly L Haggerty wrote: 2 years ago So sorry all this is happening. Do you have some shelves or cat trees or anything where one cat can get up high.
Sorry it took a while to reply.
Yesterday was the funeral, and too, while I can type...it has been painful to my left hand...but this morning, the swelling has gone down a lot. It's still hot and puffy but I think I dodged the worst of the infection.

I do have a tall kitty condo, that is about a foot shorter than my upright grand piano...which is about 5 feet tall. Thump, though has pretty much taken it over, so Song doesn't want much to do with it.

I have worked out a plan though that I hope will help the two. My bedroom door has been blocked in the open position due to me leaning some folding tv tray tables against it, as well as a folded drying rack. I'm going to get it where I can close that door again.

Then...I'm going to put a litterbox in there, and for the next few weeks to ?over a month? depending how it goes. I am going to force Song out of the bedroom where she's been hiding by putting Thump in there for some 4 hours or so at a time, shutting the door and allow Song time to roam the main part of the house like she use to do. Then I'll switch them out, and Song can have the bedroom for part of the day while Thump gets the rest of the house.

Every other night, each cat will sleep in the bedroom, so Song can have night time out of there like she use to do and sleep next to the living room wall heater or on me, or on the kitty condo if she wants, and Thump can do the same the next night, while Song is in the bedroom. Given the bedroom will have both of their scents in there, I hope they will get use to each other a bit that way.

Song, btw...this morning... I woke up in my recliner to see her sitting on the arm, looking at me. She slowly stepped off the arm and onto me and curled up and rested there for some hours, purring much of the time...even though she could see Thump watching us from the kitty condo. Song, coming to sleep on me, hasn't happened since I brought Thump into the house. Song has mostly been hiding in the bedroom...and when she has come out, she would glare and hiss at Thump the whole time.

Maybe that meltdown Song had in tearing into my arm helped her out some... ??? Released a lot of tension in her. ???
I would have liked to do the bedroom change sooner...as this attack happened Tuesday morning, but my hand just won't let me do much at the moment...and I also had a funeral to go to on Thursday. So I hope I can do all of this on Sunday...and see if I can get the cats living together in peace in a near future.

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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Stormy Peak »

It just doesn't want to seem to end! : (

My sister called me 2 days ago said she wasn't feeling well...on Monday I called her and she said she felt worse, and I asked if she was having problems breathing or lost her sense of taste, etc... and she said she lost her sense of taste and I told her to go to the hospital and get tested....but she said she was too tired and had body aches and just wanted to sleep and she would go in the morning.

So, I just hung up the phone from her, (it's 1:30ish pm here) - a few hours ago she went to the hospital and tested positive for Covid. She's in bad enough condition that the hospital told her she had to be admitted, rather than just sending her home and telling her to isolate and come in if she felt worst.

My sister was crying, and saying she just wanted to go home. She has smoked since she was a teen (she's 56 now) and some years ago was diagnosed with chronic breathing issues.

I also know...that 'fear' that my sister has at this point in time...as I felt a little of it last year when I was 56 years old.
Both our mom and our dad never made it past the age of 56 -- They died of cancer...were diagnosed the same week and were just a few doors down from each other in the Boise cancer ward. However, my dad died within a month and a half in 1994, and my mom fought it until she too died just a few years later in 1997.

My sister and I have both talked about how weird it was to be at the age/older than our parents at this point in our lives...and how last year when I was 56, I wondered if I would live to see 57...and then when my sister turned 56...she told me she 'got it'...and felt that same 'weirdness' I felt.

My sister's birthday is on October 31st....and I just know, she's sitting in the hospital right now wondering if she's going to see that birthday. : (

She didn't out right tell me that, but I know my sister, and I know this is on her mind...especially in this past month when we had 2 cousins die...and things like that can get anyone of any age thinking about their own death.

I hate that I can't even go and visit her. : (

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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Ma Springs »

Stormy, I'm so sorry! This is a lot at the same time! Sending warm thoughts your way and I hope your sister will be well real soon!
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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Stormy Peak »

I tried to contact my sister yesterday, but she did not return my call.

So this morning I called the hospital and told them my name, and that I thought my sister would have me listed as someone who could get information about her condition. And, I was listed as the only person for that. So, I was told that my sister's nurse would call me in a while, as she and a doctor were in my sister's room at that point in time.

About 15 minutes later, my sister called...pure coincidence...she had finally looked at her cellphone and saw my message from yesterday afternoon, and called me. She, nor her doctor and the nurse knew I had just called to inquire about her just 15 minutes earlier.

From talking to her, she said it didn't feel like anything has moved down into her lungs, but she was exhausted, and had run some high fevers in the past few days. The doctor told her he didn't think she could leave the hospital yet, so could be in there for a day or two more, as long as tests show she's not having other issues.

My sister has smoked since she was a teen, so nicotine withdrawal wasn't making her feel too good either, but it sounds like she had a patch on order and it would be there inside a half hour.

She did sound very tired, but at least was not crying, and she seems to have accepted the idea that she needs to stay in the hospital for as long as it takes to make sure she doesn't go into decline if let go too early.

I'm still worried for her. Especially since I found out that last week, a friend of mine, who was in the same grade as me in high school...her younger brother, who was 1 grade lower than us... had died from covid. He was hospitalized for 17 days, and then told he could go home the next day...but the next day he got really sick and 2 days later he was dead. : ( He was in the same grade as my sister, and I know she knew him better than I did for that reason. Haven't told her that he died though.

Thanks to all those who have commented here and sent your warm thoughts and prayers my way. I'm not a believer, but I do appreciate the kindness, and good intentions, again...Thanks.

This has been a miserable month... I'm exhausted from all the crying...and just sit here sometimes wondering 'what's next' with a sense of dread. I've given up on anything out of the blue wonderful happening. But, I am trying to work on that attitude, but it's just too hard at the moment. Maybe in a few more days, and if my sister comes through ok.

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Carole Hanson
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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Carole Hanson »

Stormy it sounds like you’ve gone through absolute hell lately. I cannot imagine your pain and worry. I really really hope your sister recovers and that this chain of tragedies has finally ended. My heart goes out to you, your family, and your dearest friends.
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Stormy Peak
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Re: Just so much heartbreak recently.

Post by Stormy Peak »

Thanks Carole, and also to Ma Springs for the kind replies about everything and now my sister's hospitalization.

I talked with my sister this evening, but only briefly as her cellphone was low on battery. She still sounds pretty sick, said she was hoping to go home today but the doctor told her no.

She said she was getting 2 shots in the stomach each day to help with blood clots, and she's taking a bunch of meds, and they are putting various meds into her IV drip too to help her fight the Covid symptoms.

I asked her if she felt like she was getting any lung congestion and she said she didn't think so...and that she didn't feel better yet, but she didn't really feel any worse. But she did start crying again and saying she just wanted to go home.

I am hoping she will soon get her wish.

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