My Stupid Fellow Countrymen

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Martin Pennington
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Post by Martin Pennington »

Genuine answers to quiz questions


From BBC Norfolk:
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with "It's A Wonderful World"?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you a couple of clues. What do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're ...?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct: And what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song "It's A Wonderful World"?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

From Late Show (BBC Midlands):
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let�s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Same contestant: Sorry, I don�t know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.

From Richard and Judy (ITV/Channel 4):

Q:How many metres are there in a kilometre?
A: Three.

Q: Which Danish city is famous for its statue of a mermaid?
A: Denmark.

Judy: How many minutes are there in three quarters of an hour?
Contestant: 60.


From Beg, Borrow Or Steal (BBC 2):
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isnt my strong point.
Theakston: Theres a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.

From BBC2s The Weakest Link:

Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.

Anne Robinson: What 'T' are people who live in a house paying rent to a landlord?
Contestant: Terrorists.

Robinson: Introduced in Britain in 1978, the State Earnings Related Pension Scheme is better known by what acronym?
Contestant: P.A.Y.E.

Anne Robinson: Which letter comes between P and R?
Page 3 Girl: O.

Robinson: What is the capital of Iraq?
Contestant: Iran.

Robinson: The equator divides the world into how many hemispheres?
Contestant: Three.

Anne Robinson: What 'Z' is used to describe a human who has returned from the dead?
Contestant: Unicorn.

Robinson: "Achtung" is a word for warning in which European language?
Contestant: Chinese.

Robinson: In Tolkiens Lord Of The Rings trilogy, the third and final book is called The Return Of The... what?
Contestant: Jedi.

Anne Robinson: Which animal builds dams and lodges?
Contestant: Sheep.

AR: What is the round implement believed to have been invented around 4000 years ago and used in transport ever since?
Contestant: The steam engine.

Anne Robinson: What part of the human body is closest to the floor when we are walking?
Contestant: The head.

From Simply The Best (ITV):
Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic games have been held?
Contestant: Six.
Tufnell: Higher!
Contestant: Five.

From GWR (FM Bristol):
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on 22 November 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

From an early morning show (BBC Radio 1):
Presenter: How many toes would three people have in total?
Contestant: 23.


From Steve Wright in the Afternoon (BBC Radio 2):
Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.

From The Owen Money Show (BBC Radio Wales):
Owen Money: In 30 seconds, name as many well-known politicians as you can.
Caller: Er, Tony Brown. And Nigel Benn. (Silence.)

From National Lottery shows (BBC1):

Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
Contestant: Jelly.

Eamonn Holmes: What year is the title of a famous novel by George Orwell?
Contestant: 1949.

From Paul Wappat (BBC Radio Newcastle):
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
Ara Davies

Post by Ara Davies »

LOL, my favorite was the "steam engine" answer.

What on earth is Benidorm?
Martin Pennington
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Post by Martin Pennington »

Benidorm's a holiday resort in Spain, loads of British people go there, in our Union Jack shorts and sandles with socks and no shirt with a beer belly - well that's the stereotype.

Other resorts include the Costa Brava, Costa Del Sol and Costa Bomb all in Spain and for young clubbing people if you go to Ibiza or Ayia Napa (in Cyprus) then they play a lot of dance music their but locals don't like the kebab wrappers and the like outside the shops and finding people comatose on the beach at 7am :lol:
Ara Davies

Post by Ara Davies »

Oh, so basically they dress the same way they do on vacation at Disney, except here they do wear shirts.

Do British fathers and their sons all wear matching football outfits when they're at home or is that just on vacation? And do their daughters dress like prostitutes there? I really wonder because I don't remember people dressing like that when I lived in England. American tourists may have bad fashion sense but I want to nominate the British and German tourists for that as well.
Martin Pennington
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Post by Martin Pennington »

I'm not sure how US prostitutes dress or UK one's for that matter, but if it's short skirts and strappy tops then yeah it's pretty much the same.

Suppose when people travel abroad particularly to Florida we see some things we don't get in the UK - ie. sun so people try and make the most of it by whacking on bikini tops and getting the good old fashioned tomato tan.

Alot of the chavs go abroad and you can tell them as their children are called Cherise and Tyson or Tyrone and Mercury - really modern names and they wear a lot of tracksuits and fake branded clothes like Burberry etc.

Which part of the UK did you live in Ara?

It differs in various parts from city to city and depending on the ethnic make up of an area too affects its social issues and the like. A lot of British people think a kebab's English :lol:

German tourists we agree on, but if you see me at Disney I'm the one in jeans and a rugby/football shirt though the father/son shirt combo isn't always the way of the day so to speak, it's kinda like representing where you come from and it also helps with the banter in the airport when you see a rival teams shirt and discuss how much of the Premiership season you're missing because the wife and kids want a holiday :lol:
Mallory Claire

Post by Mallory Claire »

I got a kick out of this...

I honestly love the British. I don't get to see them a whole lot, and I haven't been to England yet :angry: but they come into the Virgin I work at sometimes, especially now that summer is here. They're always so funny! CHEEKY, really.

:lol:
Ara Davies

Post by Ara Davies »

It's not just the shirt, it's the shirt AND shorts that match. The mother is usually dressed frumpily and the daughter is dressed like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I haven't really seen any chavs on vacation but I assumed they preferred to go places where they can more easily get into fights. Or do they take vacations from fighting as well? :)

I lived in Norfolk near Bury St. Edmunds. I really loved it and was quite angry when they closed down my dad's squadron and made me move away. :angry:
Martin Pennington
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Post by Martin Pennington »

Ah, I know you've mentioned it before, had a feeling it was in East Anglia somewhere. Did you follow the US curriculum or have to do our one?

Just find it interesting lol.

Nah I don't think they take a break from fighting but they do go on holiday to Spain and that or on lads and girls trips where the main aim seems to be to get as many STI's as possible, not just a normal lads or girls hol with like a tally rate or whatever but they drink all day and fight all night, lads/gals hols normally drink all day drink all night and sunbath and swim too.

Ah yeah now I know what you mean, they don't always dress like Julia Roberts but there's the most annoying gal on Big Brother (7 or summet just started), she's blonde, claims to have the best bum in the world and says everyone tells her that, she's about 23 or 24 and says she's going to marry a Premiership footballer and spend all his money - she needs bringing into the real world somewhat and a lesson in common sense, the other really annoying gal is Grace who can't see what's wrong with drink-driving.

Virgin's a kool shop Mallory, sell loads of really good stuff though normally more expensive than HMV and Music Zone so it's a wonder they do any business at all and I think it would be the same in the US. Think it might have been Virgin my dad go The Best of Bruce Springsteen from when we were in Florida when I was 14 (also saw the D-Rays WIN TWO GAMES - it was a lucky month :lol: )

But Britain's kool and I luv US people too :D
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Sarah Chase
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Post by Sarah Chase »

I found some more!

From Richard and Judy (Channel 4):
Contestant: You step in it and it takes you up and down to different floors.
Richard Madeley: Dog poo?

From The Weakest Link (BBC 2):
Anne Robinson: In which film did Harry Lime say, "In Switzerland they had brotherly love and they had 500 years of democracy and peace. And what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!"?
Contestant: One Flew over the Cuckoo Clock.

From Richard and Judy (Channel 4):
Q: What is origami?
A: A herb.

Q: What kind of creature is a halibut?
A: A bird.
Q: No, wrong. Try again.
A: A ferret.

Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.

Mel: You are eating a baklava. Are you having a main course or a pudding?
Contestant: A starter.

Anne Robinson: Which musician famous for playing the piano honky-tonk style died in the year 2000?
Contestant: Elton John.

Which Cluedo character has a military rank?
A: Colonel Sanders

What was the sequel to the movie I Know What You Did Last Summer?
Contestant: I Know What You Did Last Winter.

AR: Which organ of the human body is used for smelling and breathing?
Answer: The lungs.

AR: Which bird gives its name to a straight-legged marching step?
A: The cuckoo.

AR: What is the correct name for the Australian wild dog?
A: The dingbat.

AR: What does a bat use to facilitate flying in the dark?
A: Its wings.

AR: Who wrote Cat on a Hot Tin Roof?
Contestant: Dr Seuss.

AR: Complete the title of the well-known play, The Iceman...
Contestant: Melts.

AR: What sign of the zodiac is represented by a fish?
Contestant: The Zodiac.

AR: In an orchestra, the leader normally plays which instrument?
Contestant: The triangle.

AR: The four Gospels of the New Testament are attributed to: Matthew, Mark, John and who?
Contestant: Joe.

Anne Robinson: In 1987, the Bangles had a number one UK hit with the song "Walk like a ..."?
Contestant: Stranger.

Robinson: Can you complete the title of the book by Jerome K. Jerome, "Three Men In A..."?
Contestant: Baby.

Robinson: In Tolkien's Lord Of The Rings trilogy, the third and final book is called The Return Of The... what?
Contestant: Jedi.

Anne Robinson: Which animal builds dams and lodges?
Contestant: Sheep.

AR: Which Roman statesman gave his name to the month of July?
Contestant: Augustus.

From Rock FM (Preston):
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgic.

Melanie Sykes: What is a mixture of avocado, chili and lime juice commonly known as?
Contestant: Guatemala.

Wright: In 1863, which American President gave the Gettysburg Address?
Contestant: I don't know, it was before I was born.

Wright: What kind of creature is a kiwi?
Contestant: A fruit.

Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.

Wright: Which legendary blood-sucking creature was created by Bram Stoker?
Contestant: The leech.

Steve Wright: Which comet was last seen in 1986?
Contestant: Robin Williams.

Dale Winton: In Shakespeare's play A Midsummer Night's Dream, who was king of the fairies?
Contestant: I'm not very good at history.

Lara Crooks: What is the most abundant gas in the atmosphere?
Contestant: Air.

From Janice Forsyth Show (BBC Radio Scotland):
Janice Forsyth: What is the currency in India?
Contestant: Ramadan.

From Beacon Radio (Wolverhampton):
DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

William G Stewart: Which cathedral town on the river Severn shares its name with the sauce used in a Bloody Mary?
Contestant: Tomato.

William Stewart: Above the entrance to which place do the words "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here" appear?
Contestant: A church?

Les Dennis: Name something people believe in but cannot see.
Contestant: Hitler.

Dennis: Name a TV soap.
Contestant: Dove.

Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?
Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue.
Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?
Contestant: Cartons?

From 24 Hour Quiz (ITV):
Unseen questionmaster: Who sang the song "Je t�aime" with Jane Birkin?
Two contestants (given a choice of three answers): Jacques Chirac.

Tarrant (asking the audience): "Jambon" is the French for which food?
Audience: 11 percent said jam.

Richard: Who wrote Othello?
Contestant: No idea.
Richard: He also wrote Hamlet.
Contestant: Pass.

Judy Finnegan: The American TV show The Sopranos is about opera -- true or false?
Contestant: Er -- true.
Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.

Presenter: In which direction do the hands of a clock travel?
Contestant: Anti-clockwise.

Anne Robinson: The name of which Italian, born in 1469, is synonymous with immoral cunning?
Contestant: Mussolini.

AR: In what European country was actor Antonio Banderas born?
Contestant: Mexico.

AR: The Anne Frank museum can be found in which city?
Contestant: Berlin.

Anne Robinson: Which oriental country shares its name with a type of porcelain?
Contestant: Portugal.

AR: Which Indian leader, whose last name began with G, took the name Mahatma?
Contestant: Geronimo.

Anne Robinson: Cro-Magnon was an early form of which mammal, which now numbers in the millions?
Contestant: Crabs.

Robinson: Kate Hudson is the daughter of which famous American movie actress?
Contestant: Rock.

Anne Robinson: Which illness is named after its high temperature and red skin colouration?
Contestant: Yellow fever.

From Fort Boyard (Challenge TV):
Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word -- CHED and PIT.
Team: Chedpit.

Eamonn Holmes: Which chapel ceiling did Michelangelo famously paint?
Contestant: The sixteenth chapel.

Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?

Question: Who discovered gravity when an apple fell from a tree and landed on his head?
Answer: William Tell.

Andy Collins: Name a red liquid.
Contestant: Mercury
Collins: Is Mercury red? Let's see if it's there... No, bad luck, I didn't think it was red.
Contestant: I wasn't sure if it was red or green.

Les Dennis: Name someone associated with Robinson Crusoe...
Contestant: Peter Pan.
Frayed - $75,000
Liveinthemoment - $25,000
Same - $10,000
It's Been Awhile - $10,000
Grindelwald - $10,000
Skywatching - $7,500
Martin Pennington
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Post by Martin Pennington »

By heck Sarah - which site is it? lol

Another one was said by my friend about her sisters ex-boyfriend just after they split up "he thinks manhogamy is something the Japanese do with paper" :lol:
Mallory Claire

Post by Mallory Claire »

Virgin IS overpriced sometimes, but they also carry a LOT of stuff you won't find easily elsewhere. We have a lot of cool clothes and weird little random things too.
Martin Pennington
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Post by Martin Pennington »

I know you do mobile phones, flights and cosmetics too amongst other things. Some good stuff in there too if it wasn't so expensive :lol:
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Matthew McMahon
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Post by Matthew McMahon »

That was great stuff! But you'd be surprised how many people honestly have no idea about some of the simplest things.

And did you know that Denmark is the capital of Sweden?

As for the British tourist ... the less said the better! I discovered the secret to turning any city into a haven for British tourists, where the locals can triple the prices instantly in the Old Towns :)

The example is Riga!

First you need a decent Old Town ... most cities have that.

Then persuade one of the airlines to start regular direct flights from London.

Thats it, then before you know it, you'll be overrun by British tourists and Erotic Dance Clubs, Escort Services, etc. will be popping up everywhere ... ahh, Riga ... and now I'm applying for a job there ... what am I thinking, lol :)
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